Relax & Rejuvenate
If you’re anything like me, you are constantly on the go, working on some project or another. As I’ve grown, I’ve gotten better at quieting the voice that is telling me if I am not moving forward, I’m failing. As I started to reach my mid-twenties and was still trying to figure everything out, I began wanting the big things in life that I felt ready for. I bought a new car, moved apartments, got married, and continued to work… all in July 2019. Leading up to that, I also decided I wanted to apply to physical therapy school and so I had to take the GREs, which meant studying, and finally testing at the end of May 2019. There were a number of other things going on within the 6 months surrounding July that caused it become the craziest personal year of my life.
Honestly, I was ready for everything I took on that year, but instead of slowing down, spacing things out, and just enjoying the process, I felt the need to get everything done at once. I was constantly reaching for as many things as I could rather than appreciating where I was. I felt this need to be someone specific that had been set up for me on a specific timeline. It wasn’t until I slowed down and really listened to myself that I understood what I wanted. Slowing down is really not easy for a lot of us, but neither is exercise, nor choosing the healthier meal option. If you really want to live the life you desire, changes need to happen to allow for progression. The goal is not to shift the scale out of balance, but to find a new way to rebalance.
Around October things really slowed down for me; I truly and completely crashed. My mind and my body were done. I have been in these situations multiple times where I take on so much, my anxiety sky rockets. I suffer through all of these major moments that should be fun and enjoyable, just so I can get through it.
Finally having one of the largest crashes in my life, I knew I could not do this to myself anymore. The stress and anxiety were not worth it when large amazing moments were clouded because of my own pressure to be perfect. I’ve spent my entire life thinking about my wedding, and when it came to planning, I could not get past the expectation of how it needed to be. Instead of enjoying the process, I pushed, rushed and forced so I could meet my expectations. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED my wedding, it was such a magical day and I married the love of my life. This was a tough but important lesson for me to learn for my future, thankfully with a beautiful weekend to look back on and my wonderful husband to spend my life with it stings a little less.
I had no idea where to start so after taking a few weeks to just become myself again, I started by focusing on what I already had. I worked to grow on who I currently am rather than who I am trying to be.
I’m driven.
When I get an idea I want to go in 120%, so I started there by slowing things down before they get out of control. I focus on taking on less than I think I can handle so I don’t overdo it. I set realistic long term goals that I write down. Goals are important, but if you do not enjoy the process, the destination will not be as sweet. Every time I have focused on enjoying the process, making sure I am not letting my goals put my life off balance, my feelings towards what I am doing are dramatically improved. I work to find how to fit my goal into my current routine rather than letting it take over my life.
This weekend my husband and I are going “away”, which I could not be more excited about. I mean with COVID we really aren’t going far, but to just get away for a few nights with no work to do and no service... It’s exactly what we both need and it will be such a wonderful reset. This weekend being disconnected is reminding me that I need to take some time for myself. Taking care of myself daily is a must, but it’s also important for me to take a longer break for a bit more of my own balance.
So this is my thought for you that I hope you can hear and take something from. Slow down, there is no such thing as perfection, the more you try to reach for it, the more you will be disappointed when you can not achieve it. Put your heart and soul into what you are passionate about, but do not let that over take you. Passion is important, but it can turn into something that takes over your life and grows into something darker. Just because you are passionate does not mean you have to rush to reach an end point, you don’t want to miss the hidden treasures and secrets along the way.
When I slowed down and focused on the clients I had, growing myself at the right pace for me, I began to see more doors open and I felt more excited than ever. I guess my goal is to always leave some space for that excitement, even if it takes longer to get to my end goal.
