Comparison
So…. I’m about to be real honest here, not really because I feel like I have to or even really want to, but I feel like some people could relate to the way I’m feeling right now and maybe this could help…
I found myself on Instagram scrolling through a random Vermont hashtag and I come across this person that I remember from a couple of years ago. She was just starting her career, and I had been personal training for about a year at that point. I only spoke to her a couple of times, but I really enjoyed meeting her, she was very sweet and seemed genuinely interested in what she was doing. So, I go to click on her feed to see that she has a couple thousand followers, while I barely have any. Immediately I start this cycle of self doubt. I was frustrated that this girl had been working for less amount of time than me and she was seemingly further along than me.
HOLD UP
Before I clicked on this girls feed, I was thinking about how sweet she was and how I have been really growing at such an awesome and organic rate and then when I noticed how this person had more followers than me, I started to get upset. I wasn’t upset she was successful, I was upset I did not feel that success in my social media. I had to take a step back (something that has taken me some time to work on) and recognize that I need to be aware of a few things so I do not compare myself to others.
I don’t know anyone else’s experience, I have no idea what their life is like, and I certainly don’t know what their work flow is or how their free time is spent.
The person I am comparing myself to probably worked really hard to get to where they are. Success doesn’t happen overnight and certainly not without trail and error. Think about anything you have done in the past that you put a lot of work into, you wouldn’t expect to have yourself complete the project in one day when in reality it took you 10 months to complete.
My priorities, mental and physical health needs may be completely different than the person I am looking at.
After taking my step back, I recognized immediately that I could look at this girl as someone to help me grow as an inspiration as opposed to someone that makes me feel as though I am not successful. This not only allows me to just focus on what I am working on, but also feel good about supporting her even though we are in the same field. For me it is easy to just immediately compare to someone because of my own self doubts, not because of where they are. There is room for everyone to succeed and it will only help me succeed more if I can learn and grow from other successful individuals and to lend support to others that need it.
I also have to remember that someone else’s business goals, even when they are in the same field, may be something completely different than mine. I may find someone that appears to have so close to what I want to build, but I am not them. I have to build myself and my brand in my own authentic way.
In this specific circumstance, I am looking at my business goals, but I have done this in so many aspects of my life. I used to compare myself to other people’s fitness or size, someone’s monetary success, and someone’s Instagram feed showing them traveling around the world.
This is not something I am honestly proud of, but it’s something that I am really working on, we all have areas to grow in. I want to be a supportive and positive force in this world and for me talking about this feeling and reaction allows me to work on it more. I hope this helps someone realize that it’s totally fine that someone is further along than you. Focus on your path and personal growth. Use others for inspiration, but make your main focus on yourself. Success takes time and persistence.
Next time you compare yourself, think about your own successes and happiness. You are living your life for you, not to fit a specific mold. Follow how you want to live your life and know that as long as you are happy, you are exactly where you need to be.
